Pillow fighting in our bedroom with my siblings, Nirvana, Navin and Nishan, when we were children, is a time which always make me smile. Who knew I would be flung against the wall, play fighting and have my first blue eye? Wow! My brother was in deep water when my dad got home that evening. But such fond memories that take me back to the laughter. I FEEL BLESSED!
Growing up with my siblings is a fond memory which is edged in my heart and mind. When I became a parent, I always endeavoured to teach my children, Ashveer and Sahana that the most important thing in the world is taking care of each other. This should be priority when growing up together. I think god showered us with siblings so that we could get the best training in socialising, sharing, caring, giving, receiving, mastering our emotions with each other, being patient and also accepting each others’ shortfalls. This was the environment that taught us forgiveness and the ability to rise above unimportant trivial issues. I am indebted to my parents for developing this platform where we practiced love and forgiveness.
In the world today, we have far too many breakdowns in relationships as we emerge as adults. Sibling rivalry does exists and sometimes it becomes far more serious in our adult lives. But the beauty part of it is, if your parents programmed and conditioned you to find a way forward, you will find that path in making mends and remembering the authentic love you shared as kids growing up.
Here are my 7 ways to have a super bond with your siblings…
- Rise above the Ego
Ego can be the biggest culprit in acknowledging the wrong and accepting responsibility. If you are a spiritual aspirant, dump the ego and pride so that an apology can be heartfelt. The Ego is the monstrous troll under the bridge that prevents you from feeling the love. Don’t wait for the other to make the first move in mending the broken relationship. Rise above your ego, take the first step towards a harmonious reconcilation.
- Remember your Parents
For a parent to know that their children are at battle with each other is the most heart breaking karma/ action to live through. The pain they go through to see the sparks of dislike and at times hatred, is like a knife through the heart. It’s time to remember the love that runs in our veins from our parents. The values they instilled in us can be the trump cards to make amends.
- Visualise the best happy memories as children
This is defintely a game changer. When we tap into the subconscious mind that stores our memories, go to the happiest ones where laughter and love are the only feelings you can feel in your soul. Photographs are also great reminders of the love that once existed.
- Love Love Love…
You have a fountain in your heart, where is flows from. If you can’t feel it , that means that the lack of self love is the biggest blockage that you have to clear up immediately. When you love yourself, you can give it and receive it. Dig deep and let it flow again, back to your siblings.
- Don’t forget FORGIVENESS
You forgive others for your own peace of mind. Forgiveness is the highest realm in emotional mastery. Through meditation and introspection, you can let go of the pain and bitterness through this vital act of forgiveness. Grudges and revenge manifest in the body as physical pain. When you hold on to this emotional baggage the throat, the respiratory system, the neck, the ankles, the back, and many others, are parts of the body hurt. When you let go of this toxic emotion, you allow your body to heal while you rekindle your relationships.
- Partners and Spousal Barriers
This is a BIG No!!!!! I know you have an allegiance to your partner or spouse but stand up for righteousness. Be bold and honest from day one that family is everything to you. Remember that your routines and behaviour is also mirrored by your partners. Do not allow your partner to withhold love and punish you, for having a wonderful relationship with your siblings. The love of a partner or spouse is certainly different to that of a sibling. Always make them understand that both kinds love complements each other. Let them understand that space to have a healthy relationship with your siblings is important for your happiness. Don’t compromise your relationship with your siblings if your spouse or partner does not understand this. Hold your ground from the point of love.
- Invest your TIME
Time is a gift however when wasted in anger and unhappiness, it passes by very quickly. In June 2019, My eldest brother, Navin Bhai passed on at the age of 52. I live with no regret, because the relationship and love we shared were the biggest gift to us. He gave us time even though he lived in South Africa whilst I lived in the UK. Our hearts ached everytime we had to say goodbye, when I had to return home after a holiday. But he called me once or twice a day through Facetime. I have similar relationships with my other siblings too. Spend time together, making great memories because it is the memories that would last a life time.
Don’t wait for tomorrow to rediscover the love for your siblings. Act now! Even if you have issues with your siblings, it is never to late to make things RIGHT. Remember the embrace of your siblings means they will and should always have your back covered.
Love you my beautiful siblings- Navin Bhai, Nirvana and my little bro Nishan. Let only love and happiness flow…