Death: The Final Edge- Stage 4 : Torment

D– Denial       E- Enrage    A-Acknowledgement & Adjustment    TTorment



Months have passed by and your life seems to be living. You have worked through such deep feelings and although you still dearly miss the person you lost, you seemed to be strutting forward day by day. Your heart and soul still pines for the hugs and chats. Your heart bears an void that stands empty. But luckily, for your health and the loved ones around you, you pull yourself together, gaining your inner strength and move forward by default.

You have finally acknowledged and accepted your loss, thankfully having your financial burdens lifted off your shoulder, with all the clerical work completed. You had to work simultaneously to put your loved-one to rest and take over the responsibilities that once belonged to them. It’s nearing just over a year and when you think that you are coping well, an auspicious day comes up and you heart feels their absence. Your heart floods with aching feelings of loneliness.

Although you thought that the depression you went through had disappeared, the pangs are felt again. It feels as if you are downward spiralling and loosing control of your feelings again. Be mindful, but don’t dismiss it. These feelings are real but only temporary. The torment that you are feeling is a healing curve, which is inevitable. You think again about the past year and how you have lived with their absence. You bravely got back up again, and still pushing on. This is the point where you need to distract your self and keep busy so that this anguish passes. You will start to heal and feel much better than you’d felt in a long while.

The healing curve is all about harnessing your innate power to rise above that temporary pain -which hovers around like a dark cloud- so that you can start to feel and see glimpses of your old Self again. Remember that your loved one, whom you loss is in another time dimension. Every time you think or talk about them, their subtle energies are felt all around you. Therefore, welcome memories that pass through your mind. Be mindful of the pain you still have by unlocking the love and happiness you had experienced with them.

Some tips to help you:

  1. Make time for yourself. You need time to retreat and heal yourself.
  2. Meditation and mindfulness is a great way to look inward and tap into your inner strength. You will be able to realise the strong human being, you certainly are.
  3. Start playing a sport or begin an exercise regime. It’s a great way to de-stress and meet other people. It also stimulates serotonin and endorphins.
  4. Try out an art class because art is an excellent way to express yourself and your emotions.
  5. During your healing curve, distract yourself by even going on a short holiday.
  6. Meet up regularly with positive friends and it’s OK to have some fun and laughter.
  7. Volunteer your time to a project that helps the under privileged. Charity allows you to find your purpose, whilst doing great things for the community.

You are doing amazingly well great in getting through the loss of your loved one. You have come a long way so be proud of your strength and resilience. If you ever need to chat or you need a helping hand, give me a call on whatsApp on 07737495666.

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Just Simply Change Life Coaching